The creepy crawlies

OK, that's it, I'm officially,probably, possibly gonna die now. I came home yesterday from a friend's house and was undressed getting ready to dive into a warm bath when I noticed it.

A TICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attached to my boob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got chills immediately, I was rendered speechless momentarily and finally mustered up the courage to call my hubby into the room. This creepy thing was literally just hanging there on my boob like it had the right to be there sucking my life force.

Now the kicker of this is that I know beyond a shadow of doubt that Kendrick HATES bugs. I'm not just talking the normal dislike of bugs most people have. If he has heard that anyone in a fifteen mile radius has had lice, I have to check his hair...repeatedly. If a bug swoops down at him outside he moves with the grace of Chuck Norris and high kicks it into oblivion. But I tell him I have a tick on me and he meanders around the house finding tweezers...he tries to put on an air of calmness. For my sake?? Puhhleease! I quickly and maybe a bit harshly scolded him for being so carefree with my life and to get a move on detaching this demon bug from me!

I've never had a tick on me. I lived in rural PA for years and not once did a tick bother me. Why now? This is one experience I would have been ok without having.

It was a deer tick. Its now frozen in my freezer in a baggie. I don't care that it was only on my for half a day...I am pretty sure I'm gonna die now.

It was nice knowing you all.

man laws

Sometimes I sit back and wonder how I ended up being surrounded by so many men. How is it that I can be quite feminine in many regards and I have very few female friends. Scratch that..I have one really close gf and one other woman that I hang out with from time to time. Of course, I'm not counting family..that's cheating. At any rate, I am practically swimming in a sea of masculinity. As a woman, do you know what that's like?
1. I am the only one who can multitask without an issue. Men literally can not do more than one thing at a time. They use all their concentration to focus on the task at hand. My husband often "gets lost" if he tries to accomplish more than one thing. He's been known to stand in a room and just spin slowly in the middle looking around for things. He calls me EVERY time he is in the store. Every time! Sometimes I swear he has a secret pot smoking habit..because his short term memory is non-existent.
2. I am the only one who pays attention to detail. Unlike many other women I cannot complain about men who refuse to help out with household chores. Kendrick is so great about chipping in when I need it..or even when I don't need it, but I have never met a man who pays attention to the small details that go into cleaning. For example...the back splash or knobs on the kitchen sink. Even if they do all the dishes, not one of the men in my house will clean those areas. There can be visible nastiness on it and they aren't touching it. They literally don't see these things. I am not making excuses for them..they really don't!!! They wear rose colored glasses that make the world a beautiful place despite clutter and dust and grime! I want a pair of those..and in turn I want everyone else to wear a pair of those when they come into my house! How great it would be to never have to say,"excuse my mess." I literally put a business card on the bathroom floor as a test and it sat there for three weeks. I watched them walk over it, I watched them walk on it and yet not one of them noticed enough to pick it up.
3. Men stick together. It does not matter if one is blatantly wrong, the other men will back them up to a fault. Sometimes it makes a woman want to pull her hair out because she knows she is right..but it doesn't matter if you are dealing with more than one man at a time. If you try, his friends will back him up (knowing their friend is in the wrong) and lie bold faced to him to encourage him. What the hell is this?! This is a rule that they have created. "When two or more men are gathered in a place everything they say or do is right." The majority rules and rational behavior and thought go out the door. How can I argue with that? There is no argument.
4. All men want to protect women. This may seem to contradict #3..but don't be mistaken. I'm not talking about emotional protection. I am talking about physical protection. If I am home alone the door has to be locked. Even if its the middle of the day, because you never know who has it in their mind to come attack me in my home at any time. If there is a strange noise in the night I am to stay dutifully in bed like a helpless woman and wait till Kendrick searches the house and gives the, "all clear!"
5. If drinking, men will continually make toasts. I don't know why..can you imagine a group of women sitting together clinking their glasses in a toast every five minutes? What are they toasting and why? They toast to loved ones passed, they toast to friends, they toast to birthdays, they toast to the alcohol they are drinking. You name it and they toast to it. I swear if one of them farted loudly they would toast to that. It's and odd thing.
6. A man will swear he is right until you can give him physical or educational proof that he is wrong. Even then they may try to snake out of the truth quietly and slowly.

Alright, I have rambled on long enough. I could compile a list forever long about things I have learned living with 3 men and being surrounded by many more. This was not a rant..I love my men. This was me voicing observations.
Sometimes I give in to reckless abandon and just enjoy their nonsensical ways! You will not catch me grabbing myself and adjusting or farting in public though. Some things I just cant let go of.