It seems to be all the rage to say, "I have OCD." There are memes, songs, cartoons, and all manner of other things that show something being askew or off kilter and if it bothers you, BAM you have obsessive compulsive disorder.
The fact is, OCD can be debilitating for many people if it is untreated. Most people who are agoraphobic have untreated OCD. People who have severe anxiety that seems to have no obvious trigger..are in fact people who probably have OCD.
Sure, a disdain for things like imbalance, discordance, or chaos can be signs..but it runs much deeper than that. There are several categories of it that people tend to fall into. Because I'm willing to bare my brain for you, I will share my own experiences. Sometimes my obsessive thinking can cause anxiety, but for the most part, I've learned to accept it as part of life and laugh about just how messed up I am sometimes. So laugh along with me.
1. The Washers- the obsession with this type is contamination. People who struggle with this may spend hours a day scrubbing and washing their bodies and surfaces.
Living in an ever changing home with teens in and out, a husband who's a collector (I'm putting that nicely) and is always working on different projects, and pets is what finally made me stop obsessing over cleaning myself and my surroundings. Teens do things like hide dirty dishes in their rooms, spill things and then claim amnesia when you ask why they didn't clean it up, trash their bedroom two seconds after it's been cleaned. It was either learn to cope or go absolutely insane on a daily basis. I used to cry about it, now I walk through my house like a horse with blinders..
Side note: if you are sick, just stay away from me. That will help keep me from thinking about getting sick for the next three days after I've seen you. I'm not grossed out by you..but you are in fact contagious.
2. The Checkers- Checking things like locks or appliances. Checking and rechecking to make sure that they are safe. OR checking your body for symptoms of illness.
This was by far the worst of what I dealt with. I wasn't so concerned about the safety of my house as I was the fact that I was convinced I was dying of some terrible disease or illness. I used to check my blood pressure up to ten times a day until I made my husband hide the monitor. I used to check my legs for blood clots (I still struggle with this one) because every little ache meant that a clot had formed and was just waiting to dislodge and go to my lungs to kill me instantly. I looked like a person doing aerobics from the 80's, stopping often to make sure my heart rate was where it should be. I could go on and on with this. I used to be a mess about worrying and checking my physical body. A spider bite? Forget about it, that thing was going to fester and babies were going to erupt from my skin and kill me. I mean, really, can you say IRRATIONAL???
3. The Doubters and Sinners- Fearing that if you aren't perfect, didn't do something perfect, or weren't completely perfect from a religious viewpoint..that something terrible would happen.
I can thank my grandparents for instilling the fear of God into me. I remember laying in bed and praying for hours before falling asleep each night. Looking back I realize that at the age of 6 years old, I probably didn't know how to sin. Nevertheless, Satan was gonna come steal me away and I worried about it ALL the time. Now? No. I have to believe that if there is a God, that he is one of love and forgiveness. After all, he made me. I must make that dude laugh all the time. (or shake his head in wonder) I now save my prayers for those that need the positive energy. I pray in a meditative way to help calm me down when I am stressed. I certainly do not fear the guy with the horns and pitch fork coming after me.
4. The Counters and Arrangers- Obsession with order and symmetry, Superstitions about numbers , colors, or arrangements.
I may struggle with this a little bit. But, come on! Symmetry is important! I think that laying on your back in a room and counting ceiling tiles is totally normal. Counting steps, the number of times you brush your teeth, the number of paper towels you are using, how many steps it is from my side of the bed to the bathroom (14, unless there are obstacles) is all normal! I don't get stressed about it, it's just a thing. Some people wash their body a certain way...I'm a great counter. Superstitions, no way. That's my husband. I let him worry about hats on beds, breaking mirrors, and knocking on wood. My brain has no room to worry about those things.
5. Hoarders- Fear that something bad will happen if you throw things away. Keeping garbage and other objects because you fear that you will need them, someday.
Hallelujah! I don't have any problems with this!! I would seriously let a bulldozer ( a small one) come through my house and get rid of all of the crap that everyone else has accumulated. PLEASE! Did you read number one? I can't clean around crap. Period. Very near me is a box labeled "electronic parts". It is my husbands. You tell me who has the problem with letting things go. Hint! It isn't me.
One symptom of OCD is intrusive thoughts. I used to get really scared of the thoughts I would have. They happen suddenly and without warning. To a person without OCD, these thoughts can seem insane. They are not, it's just an anxious over thinking brain trying to gain control of a situation that you subconsciously or consciously fear. Now I voice them out loud and my husband reassures me that although I am crazy and funny, I am harmless. Some of my recurring intrusive thoughts were:
"What if I just drive my car right off the bridge?"
"What if I punched my husband while he's asleep?"
" What if I pick that knife up and just cut myself with it? Or worse yet, cut someone else with it?"
" What if I have a heart attack in the bathtub and no one finds me for a long time?"
These are the types of thoughts that can really make a person with OCD believe they are unsafe, UNTIL that person learns that they are in fact probably the least likely person to do anything horrible or scary...their brain is just playing tricks on them.
Yes, OCD is something that happens. It can be debilitating for some people, and it used to be for me. My point is that it's not cool to say you have a problem with it. Maybe it bothers you that a letter is out of place, or there is one red skittle mixed in with the green skittles. That does not mean you have OCD. It means you are visually bothered by certain things.
Also, even though it's a pain right in the butt to deal with this.. you are usually more analytical and intelligent. So turn that frown upside down my friend, there's a positive to every negative.
(I keep reminding myself of that when I get the urge to clean the baseboards with a toothbrush.)
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