We all have wants and desires for our future. A successful career, a happy relationship that lasts, owning a home..these are all examples of common things people strive to have.
Have you found yourself asking, "why can't I get ahead?" "Why do I feel stuck?" "Why do I keep getting the same result?" If you have, the answer is usually a simple one.
You are a slave to your past. It's impossible to move forward any measurable distance when your eyes, heart, and mind are focused on the past.
People are addicted to the past for many reasons:
Good and bad memories
Loss of a loved one
Trauma
Fear of failure
Warped sense of self image due to traumatic experiences
Past hurt
Regret
No matter what the reason may be, the end result is the same.. a feeling of being stuck. Time is ticking and you're hearing the second hand move, and it's anxiety inducing because we are all limited on time. This is a fact. We all have an expiration date. This is why, as we get older, the deep need to experience life more fully, is so pressing.
There is a saying, "If you keep doing what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got." Some would argue that this is the very definition of insanity. Hurting ourselves time and time again, expecting a different result.
Nothing good comes of bringing your past baggage to the terminal of the future. Your flight will always be grounded. You will go nowhere.
This is very obvious in relationships. If you bring your past hurts and negative internal dialogue that they caused, into a new relationship, you have damned it from the start. You can't have a healthy future when your unhealthy past, unhealthy thinking, unhealthy mental presets are what still control your behavior.
You can be cautious with your heart. You can have some worry over outcomes. But, if you have already decided that the situation your facing will fail, it will. If you have already decided you aren't good enough, others will treat you that way. If you believe that people will hurt you, you're sending the message that they aren't worth your trust or your time.
In all things, we have the power to create positive change. Big or small changes, it doesn't matter. We have the power to do that. It's yours, you were born with it. It's a matter of harnessing it and wielding the power in a way that let's you take control of your life and make it what you want it to be.
So how do you get out of your past so that you can move forward into a healthy future?
You close the door on it.
You take control and you turn your back on the things that happened that caused you to fail over and over again.
If someone has wronged you and you can't let it go, you tell them or you get that hurt out by expressing it in a letter. If you can't give them the letter or you can't say the words, you write it anyways and burn it.
If trauma has caused a negative loop of self loathing, you focus on the fact that you, YOU, were born whole. You have always been a complete person..you just believed the person that said you weren't and it became your reality.
If you have tried to succeed at something and have failed in the past, reassess and try a different route until you succeed. You Will succeed at some point if you problem solve and keep trying.
If you've lost someone and can't let go of the memories that keep you chained in sadness, you tell yourself that you are also choosing to die if you don't work through the grief until you come out on the other side of it.
I won't say any of these things are easy. It will hurt. You will be scared. You will feel raw and exposed. But what do you have to lose? Nothing. Staying stuck in the past has already robbed you of precious time and success in many facets of your life.
You are at ground zero. You can either stay there or you can begin to build an empire.
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