Held Hostage By Your Past

We all have a history. That is a fact that none of us can change, nor should you want to. Our past experiences shape who we are today in many ways. This is growth, and evolution is essential to our own emotional and mental development.

Many times, people get stuck in their past. This does not always represent itself in ways you may imagine. It's not always things like missing a person from your past or ruminating over a choice that you made and regret.

The past can influence your current behavior in ways that many people are not aware of. We believe that to avoid a repeat of a painful experience, we must be diligent in keeping the pain in the forefront of our minds. This behavior essentially puts a roadblock up and stops you from progressing forward, out of the pain.This causes failed relationships, procrastinating behavior, self loathing, and a host of other problems that plague the person who is holding onto painful experiences.

When you enter into a relationship, whether it be romantic or not, with preconceived notions or expectations for pain... you will have pain. There is a philosophy that children live up to what is believed about them. For example, if you believe your child is a naughty brat and you treat them as such, they will constantly behave that way. Adults are no different. If you enter into a relationship believing that you will be hurt, you have already set the intention that no matter how the other person behaves, they will fail. You have, from the onset, decided to enter into a relationship with the idea that trust is already broken. It also keeps us from seeing a person in their true form because you have layered them in the clothes of your past, hiding who they are and making them who you perceive they will be.

You can not expect a healthy result when you enter into a situation with unhealthy baggage from your past.

Perhaps, someone in your past caused a belief that you are not of worth, that you are a failure, that you will never reach your full potential. Whatever negativity your past held, it formed a thought process that repeats on a loop until you stop it.

That's right, YOU and only you can stop it. Until you decide that you are the master of your own thinking, body, and choices... you will repeatedly succumb to the negative thoughts that were ingrained in you from the past.

A good example of this is how people handle anxiety. During a panic, we instinctively reach for the nearest thing that will cause it to subside. What we really need to do is wade through it and push forward through the discomfort until we come out on the other side. And we will. In fact, the more we force ourselves to stop avoiding negative feelings, the more we retrain our own brains into understanding that there is no danger, there is no threat, that the discomfort is just that...discomfort, and it will pass.

When a negative internal voice tells you that you won't succeed, you must continue on through the doubt and prove to yourself that you CAN succeed. You can succeed in all aspects of life.

This does not mean that there will not be times when relationships fail, jobs fall through, trust is broken. These are things that happen in life. But, having the mindset that it's just a hard moment and that you can move forward, steals the power of the negative event, and puts you back in control.

So I challenge you. I challenge you to really take a good hard look at the loop of negativity that is occurring in your mind as you read this...and I ask you to find any truth in it at all.

The past is not your truth. The NOW is your truth, and you are in control of this moment.