Love: Keeping It Real

Nearly everyone is familiar with the biblical passage in Ephesians about what love is, and while it is indeed a beautiful thing to read, it leaves out some of the finer details about love and what it actually looks like in an active way. I've often wondered how many people have used that passage in their wedding and have really thought about it's meaning. 

The bible teaches one side of love. Media gives society a whole different level of skewed information about what love looks like. We have people who truly believe that they are failing at love because it isn't all flowers and romance as it is portrayed. 

Here's the thing. Love is an emotion that is given to ebbing and flowing, and therefore, it is subject to change. 

It's the changing that seems to be hard for people to accept or adapt to. What at one time felt like a tidal wave of good feeling, can sometimes feel like a trickle of water. That is not a bad thing. A trickle of water can still keep you alive. It is the thought that we must feel everything in explosive proportions that makes people feel something is very wrong with the love they have. 

Sometimes, you have to be patient with the trickle of water and realize that after a storm...you will have that tidal wave again. It just has to be replenished. 

Patience is not a virtue for most people. Why would it be when we live in a world that is made for instant gratification and encouraged impulsiveness? Why work hard at something when we can throw it away for a shiny new model that instantly causes a surge of good feelings?

Here's why.

The greatest things in our lives are the things we've worked the hardest for. If you've gone to school, you know the feeling of holding a diploma in your hand and the sense of deep down gratification it brings, because you worked hard to get it. If you can build something from the ground up, you know the feeling of standing back and looking at it with affection and pride. Love is no different. The harder you work at nurturing it, building it, being patient with it...the more you honor it. It is like raising a child. You can either nurture it into a full fledged functioning thing, or you can neglect it and create dysfunction.

Love and acceptance are one of our most basic human needs yet we constantly sabotage ourselves. For many, it is not enough to love simply. To just take that love that we've been given and to appreciate it for what it is in it's simplest form. We have to complicate it by expecting more, altering it, trying to transform it into something that, at the end of the day, is no longer genuine love, but a warped version of it's true form. 

Next time you feel that you are struggling with your relationship, don't automatically think, how can I add to this to make it better? Simplify. Strip yourselves down to the bare minimum. Remember that it is enough. In it's purest form...it is always enough, if you choose to let it be.