Wonderlust

Everyone talks about wAnderlust and the desire to travel the world. While there are places I'd love to experience firsthand, it is not a driving force for me. 

I have wOnderlust. 

I have this intrinsic need to use my imagination. This is probably why I get along with children so well. They aren't hardened by life's experiences and are able to imagine entire worlds full of wonder. 

I hear so many adults say they've lost their sense of imagination, and it makes wonder how I could function without it. It allows me to imagine a happier me..and fuels my desire to achieve it. It allows me to write music, write stories, daydream, fall asleep, see the awesomeness that is finding another human who allows themselves to free fall into that space in our mind where there is nothing but what we create in the moment. 

I've been called eccentric, a hippie, ridiculous (I love being called that), weird...the list goes on and on. Every time it happens, I respond with, "thank you!" Thank you world for reminding me that there is something in me that stands up against normal worldly expectations and reminds me that I will always be my own person. 

I write furiously like I am Harriet The Spy. I realize if I said everything I think, I'd probably be asked what medications I didn't take or if I was dropped on my head as an infant. Between all of my journals and this blog, I can only hope that someday, when I'm gone, my kids will finally read them and laugh and cry at all of the internal dialogue they never got to hear and it reminds them to FEEL. Feel everything, even when it sucks. To create their own worlds within themselves and to wonder at it all.

I don't shield myself from pain. I actually find myself wondering how much of it I can take before I literally break from it...I push that boundary every single day and it forces me to use my imagination to get through it. I don't hide from love. Whether it's familial, friendship, or unfettered love for another human. It hurts sometimes, but wow is it a feeling like no other. Pain and love are fuel for imagination.

Much of the time, people lose their imaginative ability because they are stuck in their own boundaries of safety and control. 

To that I say, "tear down this wall!!!" Wait, that was the Hoff. 

I digress. 

I'm off to flounce around in this light blue skirt and imagine what it would be like if someone came to dance with me to no music..just the laughter we make.