Face Off!

To shave or not to shave. That is the question.

Over our time of being married, I've had at least one hundred discussions with Kendrick about his facial hair. Mind you, I have not started a single one of them.

Years ago, in a galaxy before our marriage..he had a mustache that would rival a porn star's from the 70's. I've seen the pictures. It's not handsome. It's actually quite off putting and scary. Just ask any of his friends and family..and they will agree. I always ask why they let him have it like that for so long without telling him the truth about how he looked. I know I would want blatant honesty if I walked out of the house looking like a porn star from years ago.

The truth is, no one wanted to burst his bubble. His love affair with his facial hair runs deep. It's akin to the love a mother has for her child. He grows it, raises it, nurtures it...lovingly speaks to it...

The problem is, he gets tired of it. And then the same discussion happens every time.

Him: I'm getting sick of my facial hair, what do you think I should do?
Me: We've been through this a hundred times. I know where this is going...
Him: I'm just sayin, let me shave it off except for the mustache and then you can see what it looks like.
Me: I've SEEN what it looks like. You look like a hairy porn star..and not in a good way!!
Him: Maybe this time you will like it...
Me: NO. I will not like it. I haven't liked this experiment the other hundred times.
Him: It wasn't so bad!
Me: EVERYONE in your life has now come clean about just how bad it was!! We can't deny the facts.
Him: People just can't appreciate a good mustache.
Me: Listen Ron Jeremy...it's just not gonna fly.

Tonight's shaving adventure started with a goatee, then a fu man chu, then a mustache with a soul patch, then just a mustache.

The kids had my back this time. It was an emphatic...shave it all off and start over. He came down looking all of 20 years old. Pouting because he shaved off the mustache.

Guess sometimes a guy just needs to spice up his life a little. At least it's just facial hair and not expensive cars or young women.