Rebirth

Imagine spending your whole life feeling disassociated from your body. Looking in the mirror is confusing because the way you imagine yourself does not align with what you really see in the mirror. Hearing your voice on a recording makes you cringe because your internal voice is much different.

Imagine that putting on clothing was painful, that it made you angry and sad.

Imagine feeling as though you want to end your life because the feeling of hatred towards your physical self is so strong that it's emotionally chipping away at your want to exist.

Imagine fearing seeing yourself naked. That every time you got dressed or undressed, it made you cry.

Imagine being born with a name that you are so disassociated from that when others call it, you don't hear it.

Imagine fearing you will lose everyone in your life that you love if you tell them that you are going through this.

Imagine seeing the sexual organs that you were born with and considering mutilating yourself to change them or because you hate them so much.

Imagine feeling like you are going insane. That you are trapped in a body and mind that plays tricks on you at every turn. You feel that your own thoughts will cause you to take your life or make you incapable of living a happy and fulfilling life.

Imagine feeling unworthy of love or respect, because you are different.

Think about those things for a few minutes, the depth of the words I wrote.

I have had the pleasure of getting to know several people who are transgender. Although their appearance is always unique to the individual, their stories all share the common bonds that I mentioned above.

 Before the realization that they have been born into the wrong body takes hold, these are their struggles. These thoughts start at a young age, before a child has learned how to cope and how to seek help for their thoughts and feelings. These feelings only intensify as a child grows, as puberty sets in and their bodies change. As they grow, the self hatred grows as well. Until it becomes all encompassing. Menial tasks, school, relationships, grooming, communicating...all become so difficult, that they literally start to shut down both emotionally and physically.

There are two words that begin to be a running theme in their minds. Hate and confusion. Those two words are turned inward. They are able to see the beauty in everyone else but themselves. They are intelligent people, yet the confusion that they feel is so rampant that it becomes a prison.

Now, imagine if you will, that you have an epiphany. That you FINALLY understand why, you finally have a name to the evil that has plagued you all of your life. Yet, that knowing sometimes gets you nowhere because you are afraid of losing the people that you love. You are afraid of being hurt or murdered because you are "different" from what society deems normal. You are afraid that no one could ever love and accept you or want to touch you because who you are makes people treat you like you have a disease. And when people aren't treating you like you will make them sick, they are studying you and deconstructing you as to figure you out.

This is the very real situation that many people who are transgender are facing. They are waiting for their "rebirth". They want to live the truth that has been spoken to them. Yet they feel trapped. They can see the key to unlocking the chains that bind them, yet it's just out of reach.

Sometimes, they just need someone's hand to hold to show them they are not alone, that they will be protected. Sometimes, they need someone's hand to take the key and unlock it. Sometimes, they need to hear, "you are safe, you are loved, you are allowed to be yourself, and you deserve to live."

Your hands, your heart, and your kindness are not meant to be used for only you...please remember that you have the ability to change a person's life...simply by offering yourself to them.


The sculpture shown above was created by Dylan Guest. All credit goes to him for the artwork.