My Psychiatrist Doesn't Listen To Me

After my hysterectomy, I started having some serious issues with anxiety. Originally it was due to my hormones being so screwed up...but if you've ever had a panic attack, you know that after one or two..it just spirals out of control. After a trip to the hospital, convinced I was dying of a heart attack..I decided I needed help. So I sought out a psychiatrist.
My first visit with him made me feel hopeful. I don't know why. He certainly didn't say much, just acknowledged my feelings and at the time, it was enough to calm me down.

I should have paid attention to the subtleties of our interactions. I should have taken into consideration that every visit I had with him, he started to doze off while I was talking. I mean, he literally has fallen asleep and fallen forward towards his desk and I've sat there patiently waiting for him to wake up. But I chalked it up to the fact that he was in his 70's and probably overworked. I should have realized that I was repeating myself over and over again every time I saw him. But I assumed he was just trying to see if I was being truthful and maintaining the same story. I should have known that he wasn't really invested in me when he would answer his cell phone several times during our meetings. But, family is important...right??

This man has a presence all his own. He is roughly 4' 6". He hails from Pakistan and has a very thick accent which is only exacerbated by the fact that he speaks softly. Like everything he is saying is a secret. I didn't realize how small he was until one day he got out of his chair behind his formidable desk and walked across the room. There in his chair were four cushions stacked up high. When he got down..his desk came up to his chest. Nothing against people of short stature, but if you hide it..and I suddenly find out..I'm probably going to gasp a little bit.

At any rate, I couldn't be bothered to find a new doctor. He WAS nice after all. Just....a bit....unattached. Over time, I have been asked the same questions hundreds of times. My last visit had the same dialogue, but I thought I would mix it up a little.

Doc: So, how are you doing?
Me: I'm ok, the lack of sunlight is starting to really bother me..it happens every year. I thought I might try.....
Doc: (interrupting me) So what are you doing to keep yourself busy?
Me: Well, I've got band, I run a supp-
Doc: (interrupting me again) How is your family?
Me: They are good. My daughter got accepted into col-
Doc: (interrupting again) do you think the medication is working for you?
Furious scribbling on his pad of paper
Me: Ummm, yeah. I mean, I'm not hav-
Doc: (interrupting again) So how was your Thanksgiving?

And this is where I took it to a new level. I decided to see just how much he was actually paying attention.

Me: It was good, we had the family over. We ate a lot. We played games.............reindeer games. Like in Rudolph. It was fun!
Doc: (completely did NOT hear me talk like a crazy person about Rudolph and playing reindeer games) Ok, well I will see you next month.
Me: OK, doc.