After my uterus was ripped from my body, (I'm so technical) I was thrown into an early menopause. Not the kind of menopause that slowly sneaks up on you as you get older. The kind that hits you like a freight train full of angst, mood swings, crying jags, and hot flashes.
If you've ever had hot flashes, you know that they can be compared to standing in a fire so hot that the devil himself appears and stands there laughing while he pokes at you with his pitchfork. You feel like a sausage, roasting over an open flame. You heat up from the inside out and no amount of cool air can bring the temperature down. To call them flashes is just wrong. They don't go away in a flash. Rather, you feel like it will never end. That you will explode from the heat and shower whoever is around you with your internal organs. In fact, sometimes they are so bad..you hope for it.
One of the other great things that happens is that after you've had a hot flash, you are dripping with sweat..and your body goes into cool down mode so fast that you suddenly get hypothermic. You know you are in the presence of a perimenopausal or menopausal woman when you see her go from ripping her clothes off to putting on every article of clothing she owns. Also, we all have that same look in our eyes..the one that says, "I hate you...I love you...I'm unsure what I feel. Help! I'm losing my shit!" She's also the one with the air conditioning on in the winter.
On my side of the bed, I have an AC unit in the window and a fan standing directly in front of it. This may seem like overkill, but believe me..there are times that even that is not enough. My situation is only worsened by the fact that my husband seems to heat up while he sleeps, and not in a cozy and cuddly sort of way.
Some of you are going to think I am crazy for thinking that having separate beds might be a lovely thing. Don't get me wrong. I love that Kendrick is so sweet and affectionate. A lot of women would love that..and I do, when I'm not in the midst of dying from heat stroke. The problem is that they come on so fast, that I can go from feeling cozy to why the hell are we even sharing a room, in the blink of an eye.
Kendrick sleeps like he is dead. So, in short, he's an overheated corpse who likes to cuddle. He has slept through incidents where I have put both of my feet against him and pushed him away from me, only to roll back over and try to hold me. He's pinned me down at the neck with his arm while I wheeze at him to please let me live. And just as soon as the hot flash passes and I start to feel like I am sleeping in an igloo, he rolls over and takes the blankets with him.
People who sleep heavy do not believe that they behave the way they do. I've taken to recording his sleep conversations and waking him up to PROVE that he is indeed the culprit to the "blanket situation". If you share a bed with someone..you know of the blanket situation. It's been known to make relationships crumble because it's an issue that no one will admit to being the cause of.
Just recently, Kendrick and I stumbled across this:
We saw it and looked at each other with understanding. This could be the answer to our problem. Sure it seems extreme that I'm thinking about buying him one and sewing the arms to the side so that he can't propel himself on to me in his sleep.....but aren't relationships about compromise???
1 comment:
he gets the furnace feature from his dad. When we were young and poor it meant that we could sleep in very cool room and be extremely comfortable EXCEPT besides being a furnace Dad does not feel cool as cool he feels it as frigid frozen cold so he feels the need to turn the heat up to 80!
Post a Comment