Hello Nighttime, My Old Friend

There's this thing called the moon. Usually it signifies nighttime. The time when most people sleep.

For some reason, my faulty brain just refuses to accept this natural occurrence. I don't exactly remember when this problem started..only that it's been years since I last slept like a normal person. I've tried everything imaginable, including sleep deprivation (which just made me act like a grumpy toddler who needed a nap) to get back to a regular pattern. I even tried Ambien once, and only once. I popped that little pill with hopes that it was going to work miracles. Really, it just ended up being a scary trip of hallucination somewhere between reality and dreams. I couldn't move my body enough to shake my husband awake to tell him that I was having dinner with the Mad Hatter in Wonderland and that he just asked me if I brought my pet crocodile along to join us. Just after smelling colors, I snapped out of it.

Some people wonder what I do all night. So I thought I would make a list of some things I've done to pass the time.
1. Lay in bed for hours trying meditation and breathing to trick myself into sleepiness.
2. Read...a lot.
3. Browse Facebook until I want to peel my eyelids off from boredom.
4. Get sucked into the black hole that is youtube. Somehow one video leads to another and another and another, and before you realize it, you are watching a man blend everyday objects in a blender like it's the most interesting thing you've ever laid eyes on.
5. I have conversations with my husband who not only talks in his sleep, but carries on wonderful conversations that he doesn't remember.
6. I record said conversations and freak him out by playing them back the next day.
7. I toss and turn roughly one million times before finally getting up and giving up.
8. I work on learning foreign languages. The current one is Japanese. (which leads me back to youtube)
9. I sit downstairs and freak out that every sound is a murderer who is coming to kill me.
10. I think about writing a book, start writing, then give up writing. I've done this several times now.
11. I whine about not being able to sleep, a lot. Kendrick's response to this is usually to grab me all sweetly and then fall asleep. Essentially pinning me down so that I have to pull off some ninja moves to get out of the choke hold he has unknowingly put me in.

There you have it, not only did I (hopefully) entertain you for a few minutes. I've also given you some good tips on what to do when you can't sleep. Guess that means I should add "teaching" to my list.

I think I hear a murderer....got to go!