A Love Letter To My Sister

I remember being in elementary school and getting asked to write about my hero. I would always draw a blank. At that time in my life, I was surrounded by dysfunction. All I knew was my small world and the family in it. Certainly, the word hero never came to mind when I thought of them. I've often thought of this question as time has gone by and I still couldn't answer it.

Then I met you.  

I was at a point in my life where I was simultaneously so sure and unsure of where I was going. All I knew was that you were there to help me fill that void of uncertainty with laughter and light. 

And you still do.

Boy, have we evolved as humans since that time. With that growth, our relationship has blossomed into something that some people can only dream of having. 

You are laughter when all I can seem to find are tears. You are that swift kick in the ass when I need it. You are a sedative when my thoughts spiral out of control and I feel like I'm going to implode in on myself. You are a balm when I feel wounded. I share some of the deepest parts of me with you and never worry that you will dishonor that for your own gain. 

I have never had a friend that will give me brutal honesty while still acknowledging my feelings as valid. Do you know how special that is to me? In a world of smoke and mirrors, you offer a realness that is hard to find. What makes this even more beautiful is that you trust me to do the same for you. Our relationship is the true meaning of give and take. 

These traits are only the tip of the iceberg of what makes you who you are.

You are forever giving of yourself to others, even when you have so much weight to carry on your own shoulders. 

I've watched you grow from being this young woman fresh out of high school to a matriarch of her own domain. You have brought two smart and beautiful spirits into this world. I see parts of you in their own personalities and I think to myself, they will go far. You are unwavering in your dedication to being the best mom you can be....even when it's hard. You constantly evaluate how you are serving them and adjust to serve even more.

I know you are tired. I know there are days where your very body aches from the responsibility you carry. There are days when you feel so close to just clawing at your own face because you've reached your limit....and yet.... you keep going. Somehow, you keep finding that last vestige of strength to keep going until the day is done.

Yes, you are blessed beyond measure, but don't think for a minute that knowing that lessens the validity of those moments where you feel like you have given all there is to give.

Sometimes, when you become a parent, you feel like an afterthought to others. Everyone asks how your babies are. People notice them first. They judge you based on what they see in them. I just want you to know that I aim to not do that. You are first and foremost, Katherine. That bright and shining individual who makes this world a better place by just being in it. 

You are a hero. Not only to those two precious children who call you mama, but to me. You are everything that you sometimes don't believe yourself to be capable of being. 

I love you, Katherine. My respect and gratitude for you are unfathomable. Always remember that when you are having a hard time remembering all the great parts of who you are, I am but a heartbeat away, waiting to remind you.

Things I learned From Jurassic World

Those who know me are aware of my ridiculous lack of attention span for movies. It drives my husband crazy that I don't become invested in them...even the good ones. Case in point, I am a huge Harry Potter fan (the books more than the movies...but Harry Potter junkies know what I mean when I say we will take any HP material that comes our way) but walked right out of the premier of one of the movies. It was a hot day, the air conditioning in the theater was broken, and I just don't care enough about ANY movie to sit shoulder to shoulder with strangers while they perspire on me. Not even a little bit.

The other day, I sat through Jurassic World. Thankfully I also had delicious food in front of me to help me stay rooted in my chair. (Don't judge me...with a family as large as ours, take out is a commodity) 

Side note: I just realize how much I go off on tangents. Seriously brain, slow the hell down and stop telling me that I need to vomit every word and thought ever right onto my blog all at once.

Carrying on.

This movie was, to put it nicely, a cheesetastic piece of unbelievable garbage. Yeah yeah, I get it, suspend disbelief, Terralyn. NO. I will stay grounded in reality where I know for a fact that I could never run... through a jungle...chased by dinosaurs... in high heels...for an entire day. I can't run on a good day, let alone in heels. I'd be the girl ripping those shoes off and getting stabby with them.

Here is a top five things I learned from this movie:

1. In the event that you are being chased by a dinosaur, soak yourself in gasoline to mask your human scent. 

Really? Yes, let's douse ourselves in a flammable liquid that will not only make you a human torch at any given moment but will also give you chemical burns. Ever tried to walk comfortably with chub rub? You know..when your fat thighs rub together so much it creates a rash. Maybe you don't know that life, but I do. It sucks. There is no way in hell that dumping a noxious chemical all over your body could make it possible to run. You'd be crying for a medic within two minutes.

2. Blazers, propped ever so delicately over the shoulders, will stay on indefinitely. 

First of all, who the hell wears a blazer in the jungle? Secondly, I've never understood the concept of draping a jacket over my shoulders. Put that shit on or take it off. The whole time you are wearing that, I'm secretly watching and waiting for it to fall off only for you to readjust it again. See those two things called arms? Put them in the damn sleeves and wear a coat like the good lord intended...otherwise wear a cape. Just own your desire to feel like a superhero and wear a damn cape. If coats were meant to be worn like that, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE ARMS. You aren't cute, you're a menace to society.

3. Imprinting apparently works on all species.

You know what this means? As soon as I start a go fund me page (cause apparently you can do that for any reason under the sun) and raise enough money, I'm buying myself a pack of cute baby hippos. You know, one of the deadliest animals in the world. I'm doing it. I'm gonna raise those water pigs from infancy and they will become my friends for life. I will ride them down the road and everyone that knows me will say, "That Terralyn, she knows how science works. She has her own pack of majestic hippos....sigh...I wish I could be like her." 

4. Leaving your children all alone in a park full of predators with foot long teeth is just fine.

Please don't ask me to watch your children. Jurassic World taught me that I can let your children wander off into a zoo with all sorts of animals just waiting to taste your flesh, and that they will be just fine in the end. It doesn't matter if kids are curious and do stupid things because they have no impulse control. It doesn't matter that trouble seems to find them. It doesn't matter that their brain says, "hey kid, stick your hand into that lion's cage and pet them. Don't they look soft?" It's fine. We need to lay off the reins and stop being helicopter parents. The next time I hear you tell your child 'no' when they ask to wander off into a jungle alone, I'm going to judge you so hard.

5. If you are a woman in peril, your clothes will artfully tear and stay stain free. Your hair will remain adorably coiffed and your makeup will still look fabulous. Also, heels never break.

HOLY SHIT people! As if women don't have to live up to absurd beauty standards as it is?! Now I have to feel bad if I'm being chased by dinosaurs and my eyeliner melts in the heat of the moment? What's that? I will still be thinking about making out with a capable man while I'm surrounded by flying killers? Let's be honest. I have really big boobs. My shirts often double as a napkin for shit that flies out of my mouth (no matter how careful I am) and lands right on my boobs. If I can't make it through one meal without destroying my clothing, how do you expect me to make it through a dinosaur chase where I'm running for my life? The actress pulled it off. Me? At the end of the day, I would be lucky if I still had one sock left. Every tried to run through the brambles of a jungle? Me either, but I imagine it feels like trying to escape a prison surrounded by razor wire. Your clothes aren't going to remain intact...and likely you wont either.

This is part of why movies are hard for me. I'm judgy. I am so so judgy when it comes to visual media. I am that person that screams at the helpless female on screen, running towards a killer because she apparently has lost her ability to tell where her body is at in space and time and can't see his huge figure walking slowly with a glinting knife raised in the air.

I should just stick to books.