Giving your all to the ones who need it.

My childhood was not ideal. In fact, to say I had much of a childhood..would be inaccurate. Apart from my one close friend who was able to take me into her imagination with her and help me forget about reality for a while, I lived in a battlefield of dysfunction and abuse in every form. 

I don't feel I'm unique in that way. We all have had struggles in our lives, and I am aware that they shape who we become..good and bad. But there are some struggles that a child may face, that never really go away. You can forgive, you can stop a cycle of abuse, you can learn from it. That doesn't mean that it makes it disappear. 

Still, to this day, my inner child can be brought to tears in a heartbeat. Specifically when I see that someone is being hurt or hurting in a way that I've experienced. The tears are no longer tears of anger or frustration..they are tears of sadness. Remembering feeling abandoned, remembering abuse...and remembering that there was a time in my life that I was betrayed by my own kin. Feelings that I've dealt with as best as I can, but will sit under the surface of my psyche for as long as I live.

I write this, not only for myself..but for others as well.

We get one chance at this life. Whether you are a parent or a caretaker of someone..you get one shot at it. You are given the trust and love of that person. What you do with it is your choice. But know this. Your direct action or inaction will have lasting results. You can choose to help or hurt. 

Parenting is one of those things in life that I feel the strongest about. In today's society, there is a large number of children being raised by people who are not wholly invested in them. We have so much around us to take our attention away. Work, socializing, and technology. Even our own issues that we've ignored. We see a generation of kids acting out in extreme ways, vying for attention, needing your time. We see children with anger that is unlike anything we've seen in the past...because they are not being listened to and they don't know what to do with their feelings. We have kids who are "disappearing" right before our very eyes, into games and television and computer..because this is all they know. We now have a large portion of parents who have become yellers and screamers because they get annoyed that their children's behavior reflects their poor parenting or they ignore their kid's needs until that child acts out in a way that angers or inconveniences the parent. We've also become the generation of parents who blame society, teachers, and other adults in our children's lives for our children's behavior..before we question our own role. 

When I was one year old, my parents made the decision to leave me at a family member's house because their live's were more important to them. They could not be bothered to try to straighten out their own situations in order to step up to the plate and take care of their child. 

But..

I am becoming aware that there are so many ways to abandon a child. You can live under the very same roof with a child and still abandon them. I feel it so important to ask you to please be aware of this. Know that your life is not the only one that is important enough to dedicate a hundred percent to. We are raising the future.