I've had problems with anxiety and panic attacks as far back as I can remember. As a small child I feared so much, irrational and scary thoughts pervaded my thinking way more than was normal. I didn't understand it then, I just knew that I felt unsafe a lot of the time.
But I do understand it now...and it makes it no less of a beast of burden.
As humans, we all experience fight or flight at some point in our lives. A scary event happens, we feel unsafe, and our brains start sending messages to all of our major organs and bodily functions. In danger, our body responds this way to protect us. It is healthy and needed. It can preserve our lives and help us respond to danger in a way that is safe. Things like: increased respiration, increased heart rate, sweating, pupil dilation, even the emptying of our stomach, all normal and healthy responses to danger or trauma.
The fight or flight response that we experience in danger is the same thing that is triggered with anxiety. The big difference being that it is not needed. In fact, when these hormones and chemicals are released with no outlet, they trigger a whirlwind of panic. The brain's perceptions have misread a situation and instead of giving us all the energy we need to make it through something dangerous, we are now left with a slew of scary physical and mental responses, and energy that turns into agitation.
Some people have panic attacks that are brought on by irrational fears. Others have generalized anxiety, an underlying sense of anxiety that is present much of the time and doesn't always have a trigger. Either way, it is an emotional condition that can cause so much upheaval, that it disrupts one's life in tremendous ways if left untreated.
Clinical descriptions aside, anxiety lies to us and makes us believe terrible things are about to happen when they really aren't. On a personal note, I hate it.
I consider myself mostly rational and capable of dealing with life in a very healthy way. Anxiety makes me doubt that. Full blown panic attacks leave me sobbing and begging for help. The internal dialogue that runs through my mind is nothing short of terrifying. The same advice I've given to others, the same techniques I have taught others... seem impossible to cling to.
I feel like a helpless infant unable to control or care for myself.
But it's not true. I CAN care for myself. I CAN control myself. I just need to remember that and stop fueling the anxiety by believing the lies it is telling me. Sometimes just reaching out to someone I deem safe and saying, 'I'm scared, help me' is enough to bring me back to a point of being able to be more rational.
I used to be so ashamed of my anxiety that I would hide it and isolate from the world because I felt like I was weak for what I was feeling. In doing so, I actually perpetuated a cycle of more anxiety.
As with many things in life, the art of letting go is so crucial in getting through this. The more we fight it, the more we feed it. Although it seems counterproductive to not fight the scary monster, it isn't. The more we struggle, the more chemicals our adrenal glands dump into our bodies, feeding the fight or flight response.
What has proven to work for people who are experiencing anxiety is a mixture of positive self talk, calculated breathing, and focusing on something that forces you to get out of your own head.
Sounds easy, right? It isn't. I can't even begin to lie and say it is. I still struggle with this myself. I sometimes have the freak out first and then resort to these techniques...when in reality, I need to use these techniques at the first sign of anxiety.
But I'm not perfect and neither are you. It's okay. We are our own worst enemies sometimes.
So for my own sake and hopefully yours or someone you love, I am sharing a list of things to do in the event of a panic attack.
-Tell yourself calmly, "I am safe. There is no danger. My mind is playing tricks on me and I recognize that."
- Remind yourself that fighting will only make the panic attack worse and last longer.
- Use the 4,7,8 breathing technique. Inhale a breath through your nose for four seconds, hold for eight seconds, release as a wooshing sound through your mouth for eight seconds. Repeat.
- Employ guided meditation. Youtube offers a wide variety of guided meditation tracks to listen to. Trying to meditate without someone's voice guiding you may be hard to do during panic. Simply do a search for 'guided meditation for panic' and find one that you can use often enough that it confuses your brain into an immediate state of relaxing.
-Remove yourself to a quiet area and reduce external stimulation
-Use a focus object to touch or look at to try to place your attention elsewhere.
-Have a safe person/people. Someone you can go to when you feel you need outside help. Someone that knows your specific triggers for anxiety, negative thought patterns, and knows what words or actions can help calm you down.
-Remind yourself that panic is temporary and will go away. This can be hard to believe when you are fighting it.
If you are someone who knows someone with anxiety, make it a priority to learn the steps above so that you can help them. Do not say things to pressure or demean someone. Statements like, 'just be rational and get over it' will do nothing but make a person feel worse and will result in them feeling shameful and weak for a situation that they didn't ask for.
Life can hard. We all have different 'demons' that we fight. Always try to remember that it doesn't make you less of a person. We have to learn to adapt and accept. We also need to remember that anxiety isn't a battle that is unique to us. Many experience it and share your struggle. I am always here for anyone if you just reach out to me.
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