A Mama's Letter To Her Daughters

Aria and Akuma,

Two of the loves of my life. I never thought that I would be blessed with one daughter, let alone two. Aria, you came into my life at a time when I was still learning how to adult. (I'm still working on that) Akuma, you came into my life when I least expected it..and with you, your beautiful baby boy. My experiences with how I came to be a mama to you may be different between you, but it matters little. You are both the women of my heart.

There will never be words to describe what it has been like watching you grow into the women you have, but I can try.

Aria, you are my free spirit. You are wind and the water. Unpredictable and given to changes like a little faerie. You float about life on the breeze. You can become a force of nature when needed and that same cool breeze that feels refreshing, can turn into a tempest that can cause the water to rise and create mountains out of waves. You, my child, were born of nature, and it is always apparent. You are my wild child.

Akuma, you are my grounded soul. You are fire and earth. When you came to live with me it took a lot of soul searching to remember the spark that was inside you. I needed only to softly blow on it to keep it from extinguishing until you took it in your own hands and turned it into the fire inside you that you carry now. You are my logical child. You're feet have found the earth and you run, free, on a trail that you are blazing all on your own.

We have been to hell and back together. There were times that our foundation of love was tested, and we only grew to love and respect each other more. You two always talk about how I am your strength, perhaps you don't see that I feel the same about you.

There is a beautiful cycle of loving, nurturing, needing, and providing between the three of us. With all things in life, our relationships phase through this cycle..each of us providing and taking in turn. Just as there have been times when you've needed me to hold your hands and remind you of the mighty women you are, you have done the same for me.

You are my laughter. You two have brought so me so much joy. We have laughed until we couldn't breath. You remind me that even when the world is harsh, there are those that make it a beautiful place to be. I live for the times that we have to share our secrets and our feelings and our desires for our lives. The bonds we share are stronger than the most perfect amalgamation of metals that have formed an unbreakable union.

You two are at a precarious point in your lives. Both twenty years old, and both very much trying to understand where they are going. I see the joy in it...but I also see the fear in it. I see you wanting more, grasping for things that will create your identity on a grand scale. I see when your plates are too full and you are wavering in your steps, precariously, attempting not to spill the 'food' that life has piled on top of it. Sometimes you stumble, but neither of you fall. You may pause, but you do not stop.

You have known heartache. You have watched relationships crumble. You have seen the mean side of the world, and you have come out on the other side to happiness. You have both faced challenges that have proven that you are creatures that will constantly evolve and be reborn into a stronger form of what you were.

Don't forget that you have also known love so deep and moments in your lives where the sun shines so brightly overhead, that shadows don't even exist. These are the moments you cling to. These are the times, that when you stop to think about, will help you remember why you have to continue to grow.

You both have a purpose. You both have worked on living in your truth. I cry tears of pride when I see you succeed in whatever facet of life is challenging you...even when it's a long battle.

I always want you to remember that I am here for you. Whether I am near or far. There is no distance I wouldn't travel to get to you. There is no time when you aren't a priority in my life.

You are my Squishy and my Lovey...and no matter how old you get, I will be your safe place, your soft shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and most of all..your Mama.

I love you.